I've
moved a few times in the past five years and I've got friends all over. None of
them live where I'm staying right now during my job search and I'm missing them
terribly! When I was messaging a friend on Facebook the other day, I mentioned
that I was missing my social life and imagining celebrity BFFs (best friends
forever) who would love me if we just could meet. To be clear, I could never
replace my actual friends with anyone, male or female. But from time to time, I
discover a celebrity with whom I feel a certain kinship.
Actually,
I'd love to have my own Paris Hilton type BFF reality show. I know we've talked
about my wish to have a new version of "The Bachelorette" with people
who aren't lame and boring, but this is a much better idea. I would start with
ten celebrities and each week we'd do all sorts of best friend activities (of
my choosing, of course!). Maybe one week we would go to Clay Cafe and paint
piggy banks. Another week we'd go to my favourite bar in Toronto- Crocodile
Rock- and see who could get "Jook Gal" played for me first. There
would be a big twist at the end where the final two contestants would both be
my new BFFs and then we'd get a TV contract for our very own sitcom. You know
you'd watch the crap out of that.
But
first, you should know that narrowing down this list to just ten celebrities
was a daunting task. There are so many great people who could make this list,
but I think I've got a pretty fine group here. The series premiere would be
freakin' amazing. We'd get Alex Trebek to host because he would announce little
interesting facts through the episode and this would be my "in" for
"Celebrity Jeopardy," which I would rule as long as they didn't put
me up against James Franco or Natalie Portman or something (those two smartypants did not
make the list, but not for any specific reason). Without further ado, here's
the list of celebrity BFFs in no specific order (you know, assuming they agree
to be on the show and I can't imagine anyone not wanting to be on the show).
You can click on their names and see what I consider to be their audition- it
was all I needed to see to know they were right for my BFF show!
Lovely Ladies
I
missed her once she left "The Office" and just discovered "The
Mindy Project" last week. I watched every episode within a few days and
couldn't get enough. Her character is saucy, funny, and a mess. Mindy has mad
comedic writing skills. We could write our own sitcom if she wins and save so
much on hiring other writers who would be way less funny than she and I put
together. We would hire amazing actors and have hilarious adventures.
She
steals the screen with her amazing comedic talents in Bridesmaids, but
it was the trailer for Pitch Perfect which really made me realize how
perfect she and I would be together. The accent is killer too- and anyone who
knows me knows I love a good accent. And she has mad flow. I'm pretty sure we
could be the new Salt-N-Pepa- and we'd be even more awesome than she and Ellen
because we'd go with "Push It."
Filthy
and hilarious. She says things that make me giggle and worry that if there was a
hell that I'd be going there. Of course, she'd be there too so we could hang
out. She taught me one of life's more important lessons: you don't need two
reasons when doody is involved. We would say inappropriate things that make my
mom roll her eyes and exclaim both my first and middle names. Plus, she could
show me the fountain of youth because that woman is gorgeous.
The
woman is a food goddess. I'd make her confess how she eats such rich, delicious
foods and keeps such a trim figure. We'd cook together and raid the fridge
after everyone else is in bed. I don't know so much about her comedic timing,
so if she wins we would consider doing a cooking show instead. (In the video
linked to her name, she makes a chocolate cloud cake- I made my own at Easter
and it is delicious! You should definitely make this!)
I
love that there is an adjective that was created just for her: adorkable. And
she is. We both have bangs and blue eyes. She could help me find that perfect
polka dot skirt. We would make up funny songs together while wearing matching
flannel pajamas. We'd talk about kissing Will Ferrell and how she is definitely
the hottest Deschanel sister even though I love "Bones." And I know
she knows all about me. In the second season episode of "New Girl"
entitled "Katie," her character says, "Katie knows how the
sausage gets made" and "Katie's got some pretty dark needs." She
already knows me.
Genial Gentlemen
He
was the first name that came to mind when I started this list. It might be
because I've watched about a thousand episodes of "Diners, Drive-ins, and
Dives" on Food Network since I moved back to Ontario, but it's also that
adorable spiky hair , his sense of humour, and the thought of taking to the
open road in his convertible and eating amazing food. He could also introduce
me to real Mexican food since Taco Bell does not count (sorry guys, it's
delicious, but it doesn't count). I bet he'd be blown away by my pulled pork!
Raw
stand-up, yet can be tamed for an Adam Sandler movie for kids- that's pretty
much exactly who I am. I mean, he has the history of addiction and romantic
entanglements that I do not, but that's neither here nor there. He's funny, he
wears tiny pants, and that British accent again- am I right? I'm pretty sure
any show that he star in would have to be on HBO. Imagine us bumping elbows
with the cast of "True Blood," "Girls," or "Game of
Thrones." Classy.
Conan
has the late night show I have always wanted. Of course, I'd do things a little
differently. Conan would be my sidekick, we'd wear flannel pajamas, and every
celebrity interview would take place in my bed. You're never watching Conan
from a desk wearing heels after midnight (prove me wrong- pics, or it didn't
happen). Celebrities would love coming to our show, getting to wear comfy
pajamas, and just lounging in my bed. Conan, of course, would still have
rocking hair. I would style my bangs exactly the same as his.
"House."
Stuart Little. "Fry and Laurie." Yet another hilarious Brit
makes the list! My Monday nights just aren't the same without "House"
and I can only imagine the shenanigans Hugh and I could get up to writing funny
little sketches and walking around with canes saying terribly mean and
sarcastic- but true- things.
Alas,
the only Canadian on my list! Seth is funny, sexy, and real. He can write and
he can act. Most importantly, he can make his hair do that crazy, curly, messy
thing. I wish we could go back in time and get Seth Rogen from Knocked Up,
though. Health be damned, chubby Seth is where it's at. Maybe Guy and Nigella
can fatten him up during the show. He and I would play hours of "You Know
How I Know You're Gay" and our sitcom would be the hilarious true story of
how we fall in love on a BFF show and get married in Vegas.
I
haven't worked out the logistics of the show quite yet. I mean, how will I get
this show off the ground? Twitter is a great tool for reaching out to
celebrities. I tweeted John Catucci of "You Gotta Eat Here" on Food
Network last week and he actually responded. I felt super excited and he
immediately became one of the alternates for my BFF show, along with Snoop
Lion, The Lonely Island, and Lindsay Lohan (the girl seriously needs a
straight-up BFF who will kick her ass and love her enough to put her in one of
those serious rehab places- I could do that). Finding a celebrity BFF isn't all
about the celebrity perks, you know. It's about finding a serious BFF and being
real friends. Or, finding two celebrity BFFs and getting my own sitcom with my
own not-so-celebrity friends as guest stars. I wouldn't forget about all of my
favourite people just because I'd be hanging with my hilarious new BFFs. Oh
yes, "Katie's Celebrity BFF" would be just the beginning.
Who
do you want as your celebrity BFF? Who would you vote for to be my celebrity
BFF? Join the conversation here, on Facebook, or on Twitter- look to the right
of this post to find the links!
© Katie Jolicoeur and Blackhearts
& Raspberry Tarts, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this
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